On this day my head and heart are always with the women who don’t fall neatly into the Mother’s Day category.
Especially the women who long for a baby and are still waiting and those who have had to accept that it will never happen. These days suck. The years I waited to fall pregnant were the hardest of my life. I felt a level sadness I never knew existed. Many days it swallowed me up. I felt invisible. Lost. I couldn’t see through the fog back then, but when it cleared I realised this: *my family and friends love me - a lot *I was given the chance to change the direction of my life my body can handle a lot - it needs to be loved and appreciated for being exactly as it is *holding onto outcomes actually has the opposite effect *Sitting in really shitty times makes personal growth inevitable, if you choose to let it. *that I literally struck gold the day I married my husband so I never felt less than, unloved, rejected or alone during those five years - all emotions and stories I tried to tell myself and that he always squashed - immediately. Plus a million more lessons and insights that I could never have got in any other way. On Mother’s Day, I feel lucky and grateful, like all mums. Yes, it’s for my kids. But it’s also for the lessons I can never unlearn, the growth that can never be taken away and for my life that IS, because of that experience.
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Last weekend at the one day yoga retreat we talked about the first thing you should do when you want change something in your life.
JUST DECIDE you are going to! Whatever you want to change, this is where you need to start: If you want to change your reactions in particular situations. If you want to start getting up earlier. If you want to change your job. If you want to work on your relationship or marriage. If you want to start running. If you want to stop doubting everything you do and start trusting.., just decide you are going to. I have experienced this many times. When something is not going well for me, I might sit and spin in the drama of that for ages before I realise that I actually have not done anything about it. So I DECIDE to do something. If I don’t know the “how” then I find out. I talk to friends. I ask my coach. I research. I talk to people. I make a plan. Without JUST DECIDING I can’t even get this far. It helps us to stop feeling like we are victims to our circumstances and know that we have a choice. So, what is not serving in your life right now? Where can you JUST DECIDE and get the ball rolling on making something different? What if just deciding meant the beginning of feeling happier in your life? |